Inquiring minds want to know.

Now that I've grown and learned I'd like to speak on something.

Whether a girls man has been cheating on her... Or even when there's one of those girls that is still hopelessly holding on even though homeboy has already either moved on to the next or is about to take that step... I don't understand when these two questions are asked:

1. Have you fucked her?
2. Do you love her?
......yes, in that order.

Asking if he's "fucked" her. Would that really be the tipping point? But cooking for her, sleeping in with her, giving her smiles he gave to you, holding her hand... Would all be somewhat condonable? And if he pulls the "yea, I fuck her but I make love to you" line, I think you're the idiot for even being with someone who would say that.

And if he loves her... Well that's your safety net. If he said yes to fucking her, but no to loving her then that gives a voice to the jaded, tainted & insecure girl inside most women... Telling her it's OK, because if he doesn't love her then he still loves you, right? Even though he went out/goes out and fucked/fucks around, right?

SIGH.

no I'm not condoning cheating. I'm also not siding with the "victims" who subconciously condone it then continue to play the victim.

It's hard to think objectively in these situations, but I'm sure if you did you'd save yourself a lot of time.

All in all, are these questions really at all relevant to your situation? It doesn't matter if he's fucked her or loved her. Bottom line, your mans stepping out on you.

Don't find reasons to stay, cuz he's finding reasons to leave. Cuz 9 times out of 10, when you accept that shit, every fight you have after that you will bring it up and if your man was even trying to make amends you've turned into some psycho bitch checking his phone while he sleeps and watching him piss just to make sure he isn't lying about that. By then you've successfully pushed him away and guess what? it'll happen again.

Then there will be no one to blame but yourself. Because at the moment nothing mattered, not how hurt you were and if you could even heal and still want him or why he was stepping out to begin with or if he even really truly wanted to stay with you and work through it. Nope, the only things that mattered were if he's fucked her and if he loved her.

*** I would just like to say this has no relevance at all to my marriage.

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