"excuse me? sorry. i love you."

Yesterday, I packed my books, dvds, clothes, towels, bedding, shoes, heels, bags, belts, scarves, accessories and everything that was in my drawers. The only things I left out were my work clothes/shoes, undergarments, make-up, hair accessories, jewelry, toiletries, and I've left my furniture in-tact. Today, I booked our 16' Moving Truck with Budget and signed and faxed our year long lease back to Adelina (the lady who works at our soon-to-be First Home).

To think, not too many months ago... Alex and I were too scared and shy to admit we liked each other. We were the new best friends to afraid to fuck up the friendship. We were the new best friends that didn't want to risk rejection, so instead of flat out confessing true feelings, we hinted here and there.. commenting on each other's looks, openly admiring each others personality and affirming each others good deeds and actions. It's safe to say we wanted so much, but expected very little. We were worlds apart, with a war between us and baggage the size of Balikbayan Boxes.. the only surefire thing about us was the feelings we had for one another.

We both had shit to deal with, and we both wanted the other person to take care of the shit they had to handle. But regardless, I was there for him throughout his deployment, he was there for me through my bullshit. We promised ourselves that no matter what happened, we would stay very good friends. We told each other that the friendship was what was important. Because.. fuck the timezones, the war, the slowass internet connection, the fucked up phone connection, the baggage.. through it all, we became awesome friends. So what did the new best friends that wanted to be more than friends agree on? To wait. Anxiously, patiently... til he got home from Iraq. Then take it day by day.

And I tell him this all the time, but I knew since the very first night he spent under the Sacramento sky that I loved him. We just enjoyed each others company. Not through email, not through instant messaging and not through the telephone. "Taking it day by day" started that day. And now the days will be infinite.

Lately, I've been feeling like people want us to defend our relationship. "What's the rush?" and "How do you know?" You know, the usual shit people ask when couples like us make the kind of decisions we're making. And like I told my friend Jackie, "No need for explanation. True friends don't need it, plastic people won't believe it."


People who want to understand our relationship, will. As far as hearing the hate, I say this on behalf of my fiance and myself, wholeheartedly and most genuinely, we don't give a fuck. People hate because they don't know how to be happy with themselves and be happy for shit that doesn't concern them. And to me, well... that sounds like a personal problem.

And for those of you that actually care about us... don't worry, neither of us are hopeless romantics. We aren't going into this blinded by love. We're smart. We're responsible. We're free-spirited. And the best part is, we're in love.